The Onion Movie

1h 30m

Comedy

6

Venerable newscaster Norm Archer reports the latest news in politics, health, culture and entertainment - such as an automotive recall of decapitation-inducing "Neckbelts" and a study finding that "depression hits losers hardest". This compilation of bogus news stories, celebrity profiles, movie trailers and skits come courtesy of the ace satirists at The Onion.

Cast

Len Cariou

Norm Archer

Steven Seagal

Cock Puncher

Larissa Laskin

Dana Dobbs

Ken Takemoto

Sensei

Don McManus

Dennis McCormick

Michael Bolton

Michael Bolton

Ahmed Ahmed

Ahmed

Brendan Fletcher

White Black Guy Tim

Daniel Dae Kim

Ivy Leaguer

Meredith Baxter

Cooking Show Chef

Jed Rees

Wizard Proteus

Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield

Ahmed B. Badran

Peruvian

Brian Powell

Typical Neighbor Husband

Scott Klace

Kip Kendall

Barbara Pilavin

Alzheimers Old Lady

Sandy Kenyon

Alzheimers Guy in Crowd

Orlando Seale

Producer

Erik Stolhanske

Producer

Sarah McElligott

Melissa Cherry

Randy Oglesby

Surgeon General

Kwame Boateng

Dibo

Richard Fancy

Kenneth Garber

Alex Solowitz

The Masses

Savannah Haske

Rapist Lisa

Rebecca Lowman

Rape Victim Julie

Jim Gleason

Steel Beam Architect

Michael Harney

Line-Up Detective

Angel Cassidy

Porn Star

Gauge

Porn Star

Robert Hoffman

Lollipop Love Dancer

Joel McHale

Office Worker

Harry Shum Jr.

Lollipop Love Dancer

Kevin Federline

Lollipop Love Dancer

Bo Barrett

Wigger Jim

Chrissy Metz

Heavy Girl

Marshall Manesh

Announcer

Greg Cipes

Hippie Diplomant

Nick Chinlund

Bryce Brand

Jim Rash

Bryce's Manager

Paul Scheer

Bates Computer Salesman Dirk

John Viener

Peen Out Guy

Gedde Watanabe

James Nakatami

Chris Villa

Gay Guy

Michael Delaney

Gil Bates

Karen Miller

Cockpuncher Entourage

Tom Wright

Kwame Roberts

Tony Sagastizado I

Taliban Terrorist(uncredited)

Crew

Mike Maguire

Director

Tom Kuntz

Director

Robert D. Siegel

Writer

Todd Hanson

Writer

Frederick Wardell

Editor

Maryse Alberti

Director of Photography

David Miner

Producer

Gil Netter

Producer

Michael Rotenberg

Producer

David Zucker

Producer

Kevin Halloran

Co-Producer

Jason Weiss

Co-Producer

Jon Gary Steele

Production Design

Casey Storm

Costume Design

Asche & Spencer

Music

Henry Kingi Jr.

Stunts

Kevin Kavanaugh

Art Direction